A sex educator that I used to follow recently sent out an email promising to tell me the “unfiltered truth about yoni eggs.”
This truth was that her doctor was unsure about them, and she’d been told not to use them.
I was appalled by this article, and the straight-up judgment this educator was sending out. It was partially marketing, of course: I skimmed the transcript of the podcast she was promoting and, at the end, she gives you an affiliate coupon code for the only yoni egg she deems "safe." But all of this came in a package with a lot of judgment, rather than permissiveness. I hate to think that she turned women off of a tool that might support them in sexual empowerment. Yoni eggs aren't the tool for every person with a vulva, or for every body, but they can be so healing if you do connect with them, and consciously use them to enrich your relationship with your vagina.
I have a big problem with the word truth being used as if there is one be-all, end-all truth, especially when used by someone with a platform.
So, here’s what Truth actually is: truth is a felt-sense in our own bodies. Truth is inner authority. For me, truth doesn’t come from an external source, even if that source went to medical school. Truth comes from my own experience. Outsourcing truth to a doctor, to a lover, to a parent, to a friend—that’s where we, historically, as women, lose our power, and fade into the background again, not trusting ourselves, our intuition, or our bodies.
So, if you use a dildo, especially a $20 one that was made in an unregulated factory. If you use tampons, especially those that are so chemically-saturated that they can’t sit in your body for over 8 hours, lest you might DIE. If you use a fragranced douche or wipes that promise to make your natural scent “palatable.” If you use any one of these things that external sources who don’t give a shit about your health have made ubiquitous on drugstore shelves … but you have a concern about putting a small, polished, non-porous stone in your body for an hour while you meditate, pray, or connect with your own sexuality … then you, my friend, might want to examine the patriarchy within you, because he is live and well.
How can I say that the patriarchy might be living within you?
Well, it's hard to escape the patriarchy. It may seem old-school and 2nd or 3rd-wave feminism to blame the patriarchy, but it is the water we swim in, the air we breathe. It's everywhere, and it seeps in. Self-judgment, self-criticism, that voice that lives inside you and makes you and others wrong and bad ... that is a patriarchal voice. The patriarchy is the opposite of live and let live, of empowerment. It's control. It's black and white, right and wrong.
We live in a world where greed is King, where women are shamed, partially so that corporations can continue to make billions of dollars off of our self-hatred. We live in a world where doctors are paid to recommend products that shame and hide our natural functions (menstruation, vaginal odors/discharge). We live in a world that debates the existence of the g-spot, that debates whether it is healthy to incorporate natural health into our lives. As if placing a non-porous stone that has been cleaned with soap or iodine could hurt your vagina, if used with common sense. As if vaginal steaming, a practice of sitting over a pot of steamed herbs, could hurt your vagina, if used with common sense.
The practices that are judged as unsafe by mainstream doctors and media, are the ones that aren't making them any money. The practices that are judged as harmful are the ones that connect us with our health, power, and sexuality.
This is an age-old scare tactic, a way to keep us from our intuition and deep inner knowing. A way to keep us dependent, scared, small, and (the cherry on top) spending money.
So, the truth about yoni eggs? My truth is that yoni eggs were a powerful introduction to the sacredness of my own body, and my ability to open to long, flowing orgasmic states. With my yoni egg, I’ve built my body’s ability to experience sensation in my vaginal walls and in my cervix. My yoni egg is synonymous with one of my self-love practices. When I insert it, I immediately feel connected to the Divine, and if I go out in nature with my egg inside, I go into a deep meditation and communion that is utterly healing and rejuvenating. I become more connected to my own power source: to my higher self and God/Goddess.
Are there proper ways to use yoni eggs? Yes, just like anything. Clean between uses. Don’t leave them in all day. Don’t use them unconsciously and let them just sit in your vagina without intention—the whole point is that they are a conscious tool. Only get high-quality jade from a reputable source. Don’t use them while pregnant, and use caution if you have an IUD.
Women who trusted themselves were killed off long ago. Women who knew themselves as seers, who were connected to the earth, who were powerhouses of intuition, who created their own medicine from plants, who were known to the men and women around them as sacred: they were systematically murdered and taken down as witches. And now, finally, we are resurfacing, reconnecting, reclaiming. The witches are back to heal the world, which has veered too far into toxic masculine traits: greed, individualism, and toxic power.
However you connect to yourself, however you take your power back, is lovely.
However you inhabit your body, however you come home to your innate power and pleasure (which are Divinely connected), is needed here. Tap into yourself and the compass of your yoni, whether you do so with meditation, self-pleasure, love making, breathwork, or jade egg. Whatever you do, don't let someone else tell you what works for your body and your soul. Find it for yourself, the planet, and the good of women everywhere.