When we treat a part of our body with hate or frustration, it won’t heal.
The same can be said for a part of our mind or emotional body. If we’re hating a reaction or a habit... we can’t change it.
I see this with my clients and their pussies, their wombs. When your mind is constantly running berating like, “Why are you ruining my life? Why do you have another yeast infection? Why are you always in pain? I hate you” … it’s like screaming at a small child. It’s like when you want your partner to quit smoking, and you treat them with contempt—have you ever noticed that does absolutely nothing to change their behavior? That's because shame and negativity aren't great motivators.
Frustration and hate are simply not the environment for change.
For me, I see it with the way I treat my digestive system. I’ve had leaky gut for years, and food sensitivities that change on a dime, causing gas, bloating, all sorts of things I deem highly unsexy. As a person who rather spend a lot of time making love, my intestinal upset is often in my way. My mind has sent my intestines a lot of hate in my lifetime.
It wasn’t until I saw the way many of my clients treat their pussies, until I realized: wow, I do the same thing with my intestines. I push, I poke, I prod, I try new methods of healing with a zeal that devolves into frustrated impatience … but I don’t quiet down and ask my intestines what they need. I don’t send love to my intestines. I don’t treat them with the compassion I know is required for healing.
So I’ve changed that. Each day I send love to my digestive system. When I make food, I feel into my intestines (AND my pussy, as she’s the oracle for everything). I ask what they prefer.
What do you do when love isn't accessible?
Start with acceptance. Ask yourself, is there a part of me, one little iota of me, that can accept that my stomach hurts again? That can accept that I have another yeast infection? That can accept that I can't seem to stop judging myself? Feel into this tiny piece that can accept what's present. Over time, as you lean into this piece, you'll find more acceptance, and at some point along the path, you may even find love.
Another way to find this love is to truly treat a part of you that hurts or ails, like a child, or a dear friend. Hold these parts with that level of compassion.
When it comes to your pussy, ask her what she wants.
If you can’t hear her, start small. Simply quiet down & feel into the sensations in your pussy. Ask her, if she could speak, what would she say? If she could make a sound, what would it be? Give her space to experience grief, rage, numbness.
Anything you’re trying to change in your life: a body part, a reaction, a state of being, an emotion, a disease—try a new tact, a different angle. Baby it. Ask it what it needs from you, and if it’s in your power, provide that. It might need rest or love. It might simply need to be heard. What it doesn’t need is shame, judgment, or fear.
Ready to treat yourself differently? Reach out. I'd love to talk with you about how I can support you.
Originally published August 2, 2018.